


Ruby wants a brother like Kenny

by SweetAwfulThoughts



Category: South Park
Genre: Comedy, F/M, M/M, Romance, Siblings, Sister - Freeform, Yaoi, brother, south park - Freeform, straight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 22:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6444343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetAwfulThoughts/pseuds/SweetAwfulThoughts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wish my brother would buy me a doll.</p>
<p>I wish my brother took me to the playground.</p>
<p>I wish my brother would let me sleep with him when I'm scared.</p>
<p>I wish my brother would tell me stories.</p>
<p>I wish my brother would protect me from bullies.</p>
<p>I wish my brother was Kenny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I hate you.

RubyPov_

Karen and I walked out of the school to see Kenny waiting for her by the bus. He smiled at us, "well hello beautiful maidens! Karen are you ready to go?" The brunette girl nodded and turned to me, "s-see you tomorrow Ruby!"

I flipped her off as my response.

Kenny grabbed her hand as they got onto the bus and left. I watched the bus leave with both McCormick's waving at me as they slowly left. 

My eyes stayed dull. There was footsteps coming from toward the school, already knowing who it was.

"Come on flat chest," Craig walked by me, not even waiting for me to catch up, nor the less took my hand. I glared over to my so called "brother" who flipped me off. 

"I hate you," I flipped him off and quietly muttered.


	2. My Prince Charming

RubyPov

When Karen and I were in in 1st grade, she had her very own superhero, Mysterion. He would save her from bullies or watch over her like a guardian angel. We're in fourth grade and we found out that Mysterion was Kenny in disguise. 

My brother however watches Red Racer, doesn't care if I'm crying. Maybe if I was a guinea pig he would hold me for hours and actually talk to me. 

"Where's my Mysterion?" I was starring down from the stairs at my brother sitting on the couch. Watching tv, not even giving a fuck on what I said. 

Knock.

Knock.

My brother got his ass off the couch and walked over to the door opening it up, "oh hey Tweek. Come in."

My face suddenly went a deep crimson red at that name. It was my Prince Charming, since that day.

\-------------------------------------------------------

"God dammit Ruby get back here! I swear to god!" The raven boy screamed from down the street. 

"Fuck you Craig!" I held a middle finger up behind me and ran faster away from the school grounds. My eyes were pouring out buckets of wasted tears. Craig spilled water on my skirt and told his stupid friends that I peed myself. So I kicked him in the balls, felt pretty good, but now I'm being chased. 

After a few minutes of running I saw a blonde boy coming into my view. I tried to come to a stop, but tripped myself. I would've fell on my face, but the blonde boy came up quickly and held me in his shaky arms.

"W-Whoa...are you-nee o-okay?"

I moved my eyes up to look at him as I was astonished. His beautiful blonde hair, those glorious eyes, and that fidgeting body. I brought a shaky middle finger in front of my face with pink blush creeping into my cheeks.  
At that moment I had a vision go through my mind. Myself wearing a sparkly blue dress while being held by the blonde with hair slick back and wearing a tux. The allusion popped away as I heard Craig's voice in the distance.

"Hold that little bitch Tweek!" He yelled from nearby.

I pleaded up to the blonde and pushed my face into his chest as I started crying. My mouth let out a small whisper, "p-please don't let him hurt me..."

Tweek's eyes grew as he wrapped his shaky arms around me. When Craig made it over he tried to grab my shoulder, but the blonde pushed him away. 

"Tweek, what the fuck man!?"

"C-Craig. She d-doesn't deserve-gyaaa this."

\-------------------------------------------------------

Since that day I have devoted myself to love Tweek till I die. My goal is to be the boy's girlfriend one day. 

The blonde walked in to the house with a mug full of coffee, "t-thanks." His shaky eyes moved along the room to find my lingering ones. He smiled and waved his hand. I shyly backed away while holding a middle finger up at him, hiding behind the wall. I haven't grown out of my fear of talking to Tweek after that day I just shy away from him.

Craig sighed, "dude, my little sister's crush on you is disgusting."

Tweek flinched, "c-crush!? On m-me!?"

The raven boy noticed my presence still in the room so he motioned Tweek to follow him. "Let's go to my room. Flat chest over there keeps stalking you." After his comment I ran up to my room and bursted into tears. Sitting on my bed I brought my legs up to my face and muttered quietly.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

Kenny never called Karen flat chest! He gave her sweet nicknames! If Karen had a crush I highly doubt Kenny would tell them! 

My soft cries continued till my door opened to reveal not Craig, but Tweek. He walked in taking a sip of his coffee and planting himself next to me. "Y-You know...C-Craig-gya really loves y-you..." I glared down to the ground letting the blonde speak his mind.

"H-He just doesn't-nee how to express i-it."

Tears kept rolling down my face as he kept talking, "p-please try to understand."

On cue, Craig walked in with his smug face and his hands in his pockets. "If I could go watch Red Racer I'd be sooooo happy."

My head raised as I pointed to him and shouted, "I HATE YOU! I WISH KENNY WAS MY BIG BROTHER!" I grabbed a pillow off of my bed, accidentally scaring Tweek. Throwing it at my brother I kept yelling, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Craig stared emotionless force few seconds before pulling his middle finger up and walking  out of my room. 

I glanced up at Tweek who was shaky in the same spot he sat in. My head rested onto his shoulder as I cried into his shoulder. His shaky hand found its way up to my back as he held me.

 

I had no Mysterion, but I had a Prince Charming. His name is Tweek Tweak.


	3. Pink Gay Bunny

RubyPov

The next day Craig didn't talk to me for the whole walk to school. Not like he did before, but it felt much more awkward then usual.   
When we got to school we saw Kenny kneeling beside Karen fixing her green sweater so it didn't look wrinkled. He suddenly gasped and face palmed himself, "oh no!"

Karen gave him a worried look, "w-what's wrong Kenny?"

"Well you see," he plunged into his backpack, "I have this." The blonde brought out a small brown teddy bear, "and I don't know what to do with this. I'm way too old to play with this. Maybe you could take it?" Karen eyes went big as she held her hands out, "can I have it Kenny! Please! Please!" 

"Well gee," he cuffed his chin, "maybe if I get a hug?"

The brunette excitingly nodded and wrapped her arms around her brother giving him a tight embrace. Kenny handed the stuffed animal over to her and patted her head, "alright get to class, I'll see you after school." He waved to his sister before entering the school. 

It hurt to watch the scene in front of me. Craig never got me a stuffed animal, never even asked for a damn hug. I hated being jealous of my best friend. Karen deserves that stuff animal more than me anyway. 

Karen turned out to see Craig and I standing behind her, "R-Ruby!" She held the bear out in front of our view, "K-Kenny got me a bear! Lookie! Lookie!"

I smiled and nodded, "it's really cute." Craig's eyes were on me so I spoke more, "if my brother would treat me like how Kenny treats you I'd be sooooooo happy." Craig glared in my direction at how I mocked his favorite saying. I was happy to give him my own death glare in return.

Karen tilted her head at the heavy glare that was going through Craig and I, "huh?"

I sighed, "go." 

Craig took no time to walk away with a middle finger up in the air as he swung it around.

Karen looked at Craig, then at me, then at her bear. She held it back up, "here Ruby. If you want it, you can have it." Karen was the definition of innocence and sweetness. She barely has anything and she's offering me her bear.

"No it's okay. That fuckboy is just on my nerves."

\------------

CraigPov

"Ruby is pissing me off." I crossed my arms over my chest as I stood at Clyde's locker.

"Why?" He was flexing through his small locker mirror, "mmm would you do me? I'd do me so hard." I ignored his narcissistic mumbles, "because she wants Kenny to be her fucking brother."

Clyde stopped admiring himself and shifted his eyes over to me with a short whistle, "whoa must've been a low blow in your balls huh? Kenny is kinda better..." The brunette drifted off his words so it was hard to make out. I raised an eyebrow, "Kenny is kinda better at what?"

"You know...acting brotherly towards Karen."

"I treat my sister like a brother should!" Clyde shut his locker, "call her flat chest? Flip her off everyday? Embarrass her in front of Tweek? Say in an essay who is your favorite family member and write about your guinea pig?"

I shoved my hands back into my pockets, "what should I do then? Since you're the perfect being?"

Clyde smirked, "I was still number one in the list bitch." He flexed his flabby arms at me making them jiggle, "this attracts the babes."  
The brunette stepped back and started walking along side me toward our eighth grade classroom, "maybe be more like Kenny?" 

"A huge pervert who looks at jugs magazine then a regular book?!"

"Better then guinea pig magazines!" Clyde retorted my comment.

I flipped him off and entered the classroom behind him. It looks like Cartman and Kyle were in a heated argument, nothing different from everyday.

"Cartman that is fucking bullshit!"

"No Kahl! It's reality! You're half jersey because of your bitch of a mom!"

The redhead gripped the fat boys red jacket, "stop calling my mom a bitch!" 

McCormick got in the conversation to stop Kyle from punching his boyfriend. "Cartman stop getting into fights with Kyle, I want your face to stay like that."

Kenny and Cartman have been dating since sixth grade, which stopped the blondes whoring. Still from this day I don't see what he sees in Eric, but it's none of my business. The only thing I will say is that I know Kenny tops because of his announcements he shares. Fatass says they haven't had sex, but you never know what top means, maybe alpha? Why am I even thinking about this. 

Tweek came over to my desk with his usual mug of coffee, "h-how are you doing-nee Craig?"

"I'm pissed that Ruby would rather have that dick then me as a brother." The fidgety blonde laid a hand on mine, "c-come on, she-gya didn't mean it. I-It was the-gya heat in the m-moment." I stared at the blondes smaller shaky hand on top of mine, I bet people still think we're together. When those Asian girls drew fan art of us.

"I-I got your b-back."

I looked up, "what?"

Tweek walked over to his own desk placing the mug on his surface. Grabbing his green backpack he pulled something out and placed it behind his back.   
"I-I saw you two outside-nee the s-school."

"Okay?" I curiously tried to look behind him.

"A-And I got-gya t-this for her." He pulls out a big pink bunny into my view. My eyes stared at the stuffed animal that was put into my face. "Okay? I don't understand bro. Where are you coming at with this?"

"G-Give it to her-nee and say you got it for-gya her." 

"Tweek you bought that, I can't take credit-."

"I-It's okay!" He gives it to me, "h-how will you-gya give it to h-her?"

I grabbed the gay looking bunny and held it up, "Ruby here's your stupid bunny, Merry Christmas to all and to all to shut the hell up."

\-------------

RubyPov

Karen cuddled her bear close to her arm as we walked out of the school. Kenny was on time as usual to pick Karen up for the bus. They left me at the bus stop to wait for my very own brother to walk past me.

"Ruby," Craig called from next to me.

I really wasn't in the mood for his bullshit, "what." I turned over to give him another of the Tucker's famous middle fingers, but stopped in mid air when I saw something in front of me. 

It...It was...a big pink, "bunny?" He pushed it into my face, "here. I'm sorry for being a bad brother. Let's go home."

He walked face pace away from me as he headed toward our house. I looked at the bunny for another minute before following in his footsteps. Instead of having a middle finger up, I cuddled my bunny to my chest just like Karen did.

"I'm naming you Mr.Tweek."


	4. Deny thy father and give me some glazed donuts

RubyPov

 

"Ruby, it's time for school!" 

I was brushing Mr. Tweek's furry ears when I heard my mom call from downstairs. I proudly made a small green sweater from my grandma's old turtleneck. It was a beautiful emerald that matches my beloveds own eyes. I've been in a cheery mood since I got Mr. Tweek. My dreams showed a beautiful scene that will play forever in my head.

"I can't believe he bought me this." My eyes stared directly into the bunny's. 

Craig didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. He went up to his room and shut his door for the whole evening. That prick was probably pissed that he spent his money on me.   
I still don't care, my dream from last night seemed like pure bliss.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Knock.

Knock.

I sat up in my bed with curiosity of the person who had the mordacity to give me a pleasant wake up call. It was nearly midnight when I heard a knock on my window. My hair that was always tied back in piggy tales was hung down passed my shoulders. A pink nightgown was the only clothing I was wearing. 

"Who's there?" 

Knock.

Knock.

I sighed, "fine, I'm coming." Walking over to the window I was faced with Tweek Tweak eyes staring passionately into mine. As if commanding me to open the window to allow him in, I did as my body told me to do. When the window was open he came in, not taking his eyes off of me. His blonde hair was slicked back to give a good view of his angelic face, matched very well with his red v-neck and black skinny pants. 

"T-Tweek! What are you doing here!?"

The older boy cuffed my cheeks with the palms of his hands, "shhh my sweet Ruby, I can't bare living without you." No fidgety or shaky motions, just firm, like his voice. There was no stuttering, no gya, no nee, it was just a masculine version of the manly blonde. 

"B-B-But Craig!" I trembled in his arms.

"He can't keep my love away from me, I would rather die then not be here holding you. By the way, Red Racer is on, I highly doubt he'd interfere with that show being on. Well unless there was a commercial." I pouted, even in my dreams that little bitch is watching Red Racer at midnight. Tweek brought me from my thought as he got even closer to me. His lips bent down to brush against my forehead with an innocent kiss, making me blush. 

"....Tweek...." A finger grazed against my bottom lip as he whispered, "runaway with me Ruby." I gasped and grabbed his hand quickly, "mother and father would be furious!" His hands gripped mine tightly, pressing our foreheads together in a sweet gesture.

"I don't care! They don't matter to me, just you." Tweek's voice was so serious it made my heart pound harder then a dribbling basketball.

"Tweek," my eyes started filling with tears, "ever since I first saw you. My heart has been an empty hole full of deep desire for you."

"If you desire me, then come with me." He pressed his lips against mine, bringing huge shock to me. There was a small flutter in my heart as I felt his mouth press against mine. When he finished kissing me he looked sadly, "I will take my leave then, goodbye."

The blonde walked over to the window not even looking back as he jumped out of the window. 

What the hell am I doing!? I have no future without that sweet ass! 

"Tweek! Wait!" I ran over to look out the window to see Tweek glancing up at me from my backyard. His eyes still had passion in them, "huh?"

I clenched my heart through my night flown as I screamed out to the blonde boy.  
"Take me with you!"

He gave me a warm smile and raised his arms up, "then jump my Juliet!" Grabbing Mr. Tweek off of my bed, I looked back into my room and whispered, "goodbye mom, dad, and fuck you Craig."

Taking a deep breath, I jumped out the window. The older boy's arms caught me and forced me to fall back with him. "Gyaaaa!"

He was laughing at my very own gya. I smiled against his chest, "take me away from these people, Romeo."

\-------------------------------------------------------

"Ruby! You'll be late! Come on your brother is already ready!"

I shook my head from flashbacks and ran down the stars to see my moms arms on her hips with an irritated look. "Sorry mama."

She flipped me off as I did the same to her. "Okay," she pressed a small kids on my forehead before pushing me out the door, "out you go. Your brother already has a head start."  
Pft, like the bitch would've waited for me in the first place.

\--------

When I made it to school I saw Kenny and Cartman holding Karen's hands on both sides of her. Karen was wearing Eric's beanie! The blonde was grinning, "say, maybe Eric and I can take you to the arcade?"

"Yeah!"

Cartman smiled down at the girl, "after we go to Casa Bonita!" 

"Y-Yay! Puppet show?"

Cartman snorted, "of course!"

Looks like they're still together, still shocked. Karen says Cartman is like a sister to her, which doesn't make any fucking sense. She said that she already has two brothers, and he acts more motherly to her. So Kenny told her that Eric is a manly sister. 

I ran over to get caught up to them to have been seen by Kenny's eyes first, "hi Ruby!"

Karen turned to look at me with her usual shy smile, "R-Ruby!"

Cartman gave a small wave of his own. I greeted them all with my middle finger. Kenny looked at the time, "gee better get to class before we're late."

Eric kneeled in front of Karen and I, "hold up Kenny." He grabbed his backpack and brought out a small plastic bag, "here, you two share these. Don't scarf them down or you'll get sick!"  
We nodded at whatever we agreed to as Cartman shocked me by kissing the little girl's head and patting my own before standing back up. "Also, don't spoil your lunch with those-!"

Kenny hushed him, "let them be kids Cartman." He grabbed the brunette's hand, making their way away from us toward the school doors.

I watched them leave, gazing at their hands interlocked. That smile Kenny gives him, I want that smile from Tweek.

"Nyaaaaaaaaaaa! C-Cartman gave us three donuts!" Karen cried from happiness as she jumped up in down.

I gasped and grabbed the bag, "no way!" But there they were, three glazed donuts.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!" We cried in unison.


	5. Trying to be like Kenny

CraigPov

 

"This asshole is really pissing me off." I growled over to Kenny and Cartman coming into the school together. The blonde was kissing the brunette's hand over and over. 

Clyde raised an eyebrow, "why? They just greeted her."

"Kenny and Cartman were out there acting like they're fucking saints toward my sister."

Token was scrolling through his phone as Tweek sipped his mug. Clyde closed his locker, "well what are you going to do about it?"

I tapped my chin. "Should I beat them up?"

"Gyaaaaa, n-no! If you're worried-nee about your relationship with R-Ruby, changed it." Tweek took another sip of his coffee as we turned away from the couple who went over to Kyle and Stan. 

"Why should I? We could be as close as Karen and Kenny if we wanted to."

Token popped in, "alright then, put your money where your mouth is. When Ruby and Karen meet up with Kenny at the bus stop, you come out of nowhere and hug her."

I smirked, "alright."

Tweek shook his head, "I-I don't think-nee you're r-ready for affection!"

Clyde covered the blonde's fidgeting mouth, "come on Craig, we dare you."

"Then I'll do it."

 

\-----------

 

RubyPov

 

Karen and I walked over to the usual bus stop where Kenny would be waiting for her.

"A-Are you sure you'll be okay. You seem very annoyed these past few days...."

I nodded, "yeah I'll be fine. Who knows, maybe I'm going to get my period."

She cringed, "I hope not." When Kenny came into our view she ran over and gave him a big hug, "Kenny!" 

The blonde hugged her back, "Karen!"

They cuddled each other as I gave an emotionless stare at their affections. 

"Ruby!" I turned around to see Craig coming toward me with open arms. I stared at him blankly, waiting for him to come closer. When he was about to wrap his arms around me I smacked him across the face.

"No." I stated.

He seemed surprised by me smacking him because he stood still for a few seconds with a red hand mark on his cheek. I walked away from him and decided to hug Kenny. I jumped into his arms with Karen, "Kenny!"

The blonde held me in his arms with Karen as he also cuddled us both. Kenny kept looking back up at Craig a little taken back by the smack.

 

"Ahahahaha! Oh that was hilarious! Good job Craig!" Clyde, Token, and Tweek came over out of nowhere. The brunette kept laughing at my brother being slapped in the face. "I didn't know you and her hand were that close! Ahaha!"

Craig glared at them and flipped them all off, turning on his heel he walked away. Tweek ran after the raven boy, "w-wait up-gya C-Craig!"

I stepped back from Kenny and glared over to the boy that pissed my brother off. Raising my middle finger I walked away. 

 

\-----------

 

CraigPov

"C-Craig! Where are-gya you going!?" I kept walking faster then my fidgeting best friend, "I'm going to the mall."

"W-Why!?"

I growled, "to prove I can be a good of a damn brother like Kenny!"

Tweek smiled when he caught up to me, "I'll   
c-come too!"


	6. Craig's hat in girl version

RubyPov

 

I sat on my bed with Mr. Tweek being clutched to my chest. I'm sick of looking like the bad guy toward my stupid brother. He treats me like shit all my life and decides he wants a fucking hug from me. Did he think I was going to jump into his arms like someone who likes their family!? We aren't close at all, but I'm suppose to be some kind of sweet little sister! Fucking Tweek even saw me smack him across his face! God only knows what he must think of me! 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Tweek stepped away from me as he backed toward Craig, "h-how could you!"

I tried to step forward, but I was too choked up to move from my spot in front of the school building. "T-Tweek wait!"

"C-Craig just wanted-gya hug! I asked you to-nee understand!"

My brother turned away from my face and walked to downtown South Park. The blonde boy was giving me a twitchy glare, I haven't seen him glare like that since he fought Craig in fourth grade. I was drooling over him during the fight when he was punching Craig's face repeatedly. That asshole deserved everything coming to him! This face however, showed just pure hatred toward me. 

The blonde finally turned his back to me, "Tweek wait!" 

"I hate you." Those words were firm and pronounced perfectly. 

He started walking away from my direction. One of the popular girls in Craig's grade came into view. Her huge boobs were moving up and down as her big curly hair bounced in the wind. It was one of the basic bitches, Bebe Stevens. I've hated her since her boobs came in, all the boys thought she was just so fascinating! "Tweek babe! Did this little brat make you angry?"  
The shaky blonde nodded and grabbed her hand as she began walking alongside of him.

I held my hand out with tears pouring out of my eyes, "Tweek please don't leave me! You're all I have to live for!"

He was already out of view.

My hand clenched my now broken heart. All the kids surrounding me were laughing or taunting me. 

"Is Ruby Tucker really crying over that coffee meth addict?!"

"Poor Craig! His gorgeous face! I'm going to go kiss his boo boo better!"

"She's a bigger cry baby then Karen McCormick!"

"Ahahahaha."

\-------------------------------------------------------

"I hate you."

What if he hates me!? No...no, no, no, no! I gripped Mr. Tweek harshly on his fuzzy side pulling him even closer to me. He's all I have! He can't leave me in this empty world...

Knock.

Knock.

I glared over to the white door that stopped my sad thoughts from continuing, "what."

"It's me."

That voice belonged to the emotionless Tucker known as Craig. I gritted my teeth, "get away from my door! Because of you Tweek probably hates me! W-Well because of me,...he probably hates me." I hung my head, I really wish Kenny was here to give me some kind of love or a bit of concern. 

"I'm coming in." Craig bluntly said.

"What!? No! Go play with yourself!"

"I'm opening the door." He pushed my door open, not even listening to my refusals.

I kept Mr. Tweek tucked beside me and raised my middle finger up to him, "well what do you want?"

"Here," he kneeled down to the ground and pulled out a blue box with a purple bow on top. 

I laid my bunny down on my pillow and crawled off my bed and over to my brother.  
"What is it?"

"Well shit, open it and you'll find out." 

"I don't trust you." I glared over at the raven boy with the blue hat on. He gave me a very irritated look of his own, "will you just open it."

I carefully touched the bow, making sure it didn't have anything on it to trigger some kind of bomb or a poop canon. Slowly pulling it off my impatient brother groaned and pushed my hands away from the box.   
"Give me that!" He tossed the top of the box off and handed the box revealing an item in there.

I peeked in to see a hat. It was a small version of Craig's hat! It was a few shades lighter with a yellow puff on the top. It looked exactly like the one he was wearing. 

"Do you like it?" 

"I don't understand your goals for this." He rolled his eyes and pulled the hat out of the box. Craig placed it gently on my head as I closed my eyes awaiting a slap to my face, but he just sat back. I touched the strings beside my face, feeling the soft texture.

"It looks good on you." I blinked and looked at my brother with confusion. He continued, "well it should. These hats look good on all Tuckers."

"But why? I pimp slapped you not even three hours ago." 

"Goodnight." Without saying another word, the boy left my room not even taking a glance back.

I blinked again and stood up. Walking over to my mirror on my desk I started admiring myself again with the hat. My door creaked open by a few millimeters, "by the way, Tweek said you would look incredibly cute in that hat."

I gasped and fell forward on my face.

 

Next Day

CraigPov

 

Why must girls take forever to get ready for school!? Nobody is going to be looking at her!

"Craig, aren't you going to school?" My mom came from the kitchen and walked over to me.

"I'm waiting for Ruby."

"Waiting for your sister?" She quickly pounced me, feeling my forehead, "are you sick!? Oh dear, acting so brotherly! Here let me feel your pulse." I glared at her dry sense of humor and flipped her off as she gladly gave me a good view of her own middle finger.

 

Ruby started coming down the stairs, and she was wearing the hat I bought her yesterday. She was giving me a funny face as she came made it in front of me, "you're still here?"

"Well I have to walk you to school, duh." Her eyes squinted, "what's the catch?"

I twitched at her. Taking her smaller hand into mine, I pulled her out the door, "come on let's go."

\---------

Ruby and I held hands the whole walk to school. After we made it inside the building she headed off to the younger grades wing as I went to the older grade wing. 

"I need to find that little prick ass." Sticking my hands into my pockets I cruised around the eighth grade halls searching for McCormick. 

Finally I found him...god I don't even want to explain what I see right in front of me. I covered my eyes and groaned, "will you two stop that! I just had breakfast an hour ago and I want to keep it down!"

Kenny who's back was toward me, turned his head over his shoulder to glare over at me, "then go somewhere else. We're kinda busy making out."

"I need to talk to you. So if you don't mind, can you stop trying to shove your tongue into fatass' mouth." Eric pulled his face away from Kenny's hands, "AYE SCREW YOU GUINEA PIG FUCKER! I'M BIG BONED!" I flipped the brunette off. His face went bright as his red jacket as he pushed Kenny away. 

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!" He raised both of his middle fingers up and walked away from us. 

Kenny gawked, "wait!" He tried to run after the fatass, but decided to stay put. "God dammit Craig, this was the first time we were going to make out in the hall!"

I scrunched my face up in disgust, "why do we all have to suffer for your horny self!?"

The blonde sighed, "what do you want Tucker?"

"I need your help."

"With what?"

I choked back a bit of pride and spoke, "how to be a good brother to Ruby." Kenny was a little taken back, "w-what?"

"Look," I crossed my arms over my chest. "You and Karen are close...I need your help to get Ruby and I like that."

 

The blonde stared at me for a few seconds before giving me a goofy grin, "aww Craig! You want to be a good brother! That's so cute!"

 

I turned bright red and flipped him off, "shut the fuck up!"


	7. The new fourth grade squad

RubyPov

 

My group of friends are known as the misfits. Why you may ask? Well first there's Karen who is very poor and known for always sulking. Ike is the youngest of us all because he skipped a few years because he's very smart. Firkle is a goth boy that hangs with the older boys behind the school and talks about despair in this world. Now me, I'm the emotionless girl that flips everyone off. So yeah, those are all my friends. We all somehow connect with each other for some odd reason, it's very weird.

Anyway, it's lunch time and Karen and I were sitting on the right side of the table sharing my lunch. Firkle and Ike were on the other side eating their own lunches. 

Karen was excited when I gave her half of my peanut butter sandwich, "thank you! Thank you!"

Firkle was stabbing his meatloaf with his fork, "how the hell does Mrs. Big Tits think I'm going to do the assignment with the football boy. I'd rather die."

Ike was sipping his apple juice, "you can't just leave him with the work."

"Like that dumbass could even do it. I feel like homework isn't even in his dictionary."

Karen stopped nibbling on her half of the sandwich, "why don't you try to make friends with him?" Ike instantly nodded with the noticeable blush on his face, "K-Karen is right!"  
It was obvious that Ike had a huge crush on her, everything she said was like the gospel to him. 

I grabbed my fork and picked my strawberry up, "I doubt Firkle could make friends with a prep." 

Firkle gave a small smile, "true." The goth boy had a crush on me since the first grade. Though I already told him I'm only interested in Tweek and that we were only friends. 

Karen's eyes went huge when she saw me eat a strawberry. She secretly drooled over them, hoping I didn't see. "Karen do you want some?"

"Yes please!" 

I handed her my fork as she dug in. 

Ike cringed, "my brother embarrassed me the other day. A few of my friends came over and we were watching pewdiepie and he came in acting like an old fart."

Firkle placed his elbow on the table and turned his face over to the other boy on his side, "Pewdiepie is a conformist." 

"No he's not!"

"Yes he is!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Well, well. Look what we got here, the breakfast club. The baby, the emo, the geek, and the blank kid." That voice belonged to the one and only, Constance. Karen's bully since diapers.

She walked over and grabbed the fork from the brunette girl, "will you stop eating everyone's leftovers like a fucking raccoon."

Ike glared over to the tall blonde girl, "leave Karen alone!"

She glared over to the Canadian boy, "shut the hell up cougar chaser." 

That shut Ike up from thoughts about him dating the old kindergarten teacher. I stood up and grabbed the fork out of her filthy hands, "leave." I spoke emotionlessly. 

Constance gasped, "ahhhhh! That emotionless voice! I'm sooooooo scared!" 

I flipped her off with my middle finger and like on cue Mr. Mackey came out of nowhere.

"Ruby Tucker report to the counselors office immediately, mkay!"

 

I sat in front of the bench outside the counselors office. I'm not a stranger to this place, I come here daily, just like my brother, as also my parents did when they were students. It's a tradition to come here everyday.  
Our parents fell in love with each other on this bench when Mr. Mackey sent them here for flipping people off. Mom and dad said when we both graduate that all four of us will flip Mr. Mackey the bird as a fair well bitch.

Craig came a few minutes after me a little taken back, "you're here before me!? Damn." 

"I flipped Constance off."

He nodded, "I flipped Mr. Garrison off."

I placed my hands on my face, and waited for my turn to have Mr. Mackey say things like Constance is an angel mkay or she's on the charity staff mkay.

\---------

I stepped out of the counselors room and motioned Craig, "your turn, mkay."

He walked inside as I ended up in the hall alone.

"So how was the airhead?" Firkle came into view from across the hall.

I shrugged, "it was just him sucking her ass for thirty minutes and forty minutes of repeating "mkay"." 

We started walking away from Mr. Mackey's office as I spoke again, "so what are you doing here?"

"I really didn't want to go back to class so I waited for you to get out." 

I kept my blank face, "what happened when I left though?"

The raven boy smirked, "I told her to leave us alone or I'll leak about her being a carpet cruncher."

My eyebrows scrunched together, "what's a carpet cruncher?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, I think it's some kind of cake that turns you lesbian. That's what my mom said."

Firkle and I walked around the hall till we made it back to the fourth grade hall.

\--------

 

Karen and I walked out of the school like usual. She kept giving me concern looks, "I'm sorry."

"Karen, it's not your fault."

"It's my fault you flipped her off and ended it up with a detention."

"No it's not." My best friend needed to stop blaming herself for all life problems. 

We walked up to the spot where Kenny would greet us, but was shocked to see Craig with him. I gagged at the raven boy who was talking to the blonde boy. 

Karen blinked, "h-hey it's your brother!"

My left eye twitched at the image of my brother in front of us. When we made it up there Kenny hugged his sister tightly, "Karen!"

Craig looked at me and raised his hand above me, "sup."

"Sup," I flinched when his hand came up to my head. He didn't pull his hand into a fist, but a flat hand on the top of my head.

Kenny smiled down at Karen, "ready to go?"

"Yup! Bye Craig! Bye Ruby!" The blonde boy grabbed his sisters hand and made their way onto the bus. We watched their departure as we kept glancing back and forth at each other. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence he held his hand out, "...are you ready to go home?"

I glanced at his palm, it looked welcoming. No middle finger was pointing at me or a buzzer to shock me. I nodded up at him and placed my smaller hand into his.

We walked home together in complete silence, but it felt more loving.


	8. Kiss a tot or a hoe

RubyPov

 

It's Saturday afternoon and I was staring at the two boys watching Terrance and Philip show in the living room. I had to hide around the corner of the stairs so they wouldn't see me spying on them. Tweek has been over since twelve so I've been standing in this spot for almost two hours.

Tweek was whispering stuff to Craig that I couldn't make out, it was killing me. What if he was asking Craig's permission to take me on my first unicorn ride or to marry me!? The raven boy nodded at the other boys comment and turned the tv off. 

"RUBY!"

They turned around to find me already there. I stared at them, not saying a word because I'm super shy around the blonde boy. Craig spoke, "I have to go get something from Marshes house so can you keep Tweek company till I get back?"

I quickly nodded trying to hold back the blushing begging to appear on my face.

Tweek looked a little distraught, maybe it was just my imagination thinking the worse. Craig looked at me then at Tweek with a smug grin, "I'm just kidding. Come on Tweek." 

The cheeky raven walked out of our house with the blonde trailing behind him. I glared over to the front door as I turned on my heel to go upstairs.

"Come on flat chest. We'll go get ice cream before going over." Craig's head pops in from outside with an additional middle finger.

Ice cream? I curiously gazed over to the emotionless boy giving me the middle finger.  
When I didn't move from my spot he held a hand out, "hurry up. We have to get back in time to get ready for Token's party tonight."

 

I walked over to him and placed my hand in his palm, "okay asshole."

\-----------

I sat on the Marshes floor as the group of boys were around the couch discussing something. Now I know why Craig took me out for ice cream before he took me here; you can't bitch when a cone full of frozen milk is in your hand.

"W-Well gee uh I guess fellows we'll have to join," Butters said from beside the green couch.

Cartman who was sitting on the couch next to Kyle and Tweek joined in the conversation, "I don't trust those Asian girls, they'll start some gay shit again like fourth grade."

Craig glared at Tweek, "well the person who really started gay shit was Tweek and my so called "Michael"."  

The blonde sipped his coffee, "y-you said to-nee make it look real-gyaaa!"

I silently listened to the boys talk. Licking my ice cream I kept my gaze on the beautiful Tweek. I don't know what they're talking about, but Tweek doesn't deserve that glare.

Kyle rubbed his temple gently, "maybe they won't even show. Look, nothing gay will happen if we don't do anything."

Cartman turned his body from facing Butters to face the redhead boy, "are you fucking kidding me Kahl!? The girls want us to play truth or dare and spin the bottle!" 

"We don't have to play it fatass!"

"Well you better tell Kenny and the girls that." 

Stan sighed. If I was truly honest, if Tweek never existed, Stan would've been next in line for my ideal boyfriend. Craig and him would have sleepovers all the time, so he was over a lot. 

He held a hand up to his mouth, "the thought of those girls drawing pictures of us like they did with you guys. I do not want to be holding hands under a sunset with Butters or something. I'm the South Park Cow's quarterback, I have to keep my image good."

Kyle crossed his arms and barked at his best friend, "well at least you'll be with someone good! Those Asian chicks will probably set me up with fatass over here!"

"You know what Jew rat, they'll probably draw a picture of you getting on your knees and sucking my balls!" Cartman and Kyle's faces were burning red from the realization that those girls might just do that. The redhead turned his head sharply to the other side with a small"hn".

What the hell are these guys talking about!? This sounds extremely weird and disturbing. 

Clyde groaned, "do you guys think the girls will think we're all gay if they draw all of us as couples?"

Butters gasped, "w-whoa! Hold uh up, I'm eh dating A-Alexis!"

Stan gripped his nose and sighed once again, "Butters for the last time. Raisin girls don't like you, just your money!"

After finishing my ice cream, I stood up and went over to the green couch and sat between Tweek and Cartman. Craig seemed to be a little annoyed by me just making myself comfortable on the couch while they're having a discussion.  
He knew I wouldn't talk because of Tweek's presence in the room, so he didn't say anything.

Tweek didn't pay attention to me as he shook his head frantically, "I-I can't play spin-nee the b-bottle! I-I don't want-gya m-my first k-kiss be with t-those Paris Hilton wannabes!" 

My eyes went huge as I looked over at him.

\-------------------------------------------------------

"Then I'll be your first kiss!" 

The room got silent as I moved closer to Tweek's face, "I'm not like those girls." 

Craig gawked, "h-hold the fuck up!"

I held my hand up, "hold him down!"  
Out of nowhere a huge bunny that looked similar to Mr. Tweek came down and squashed Craig. Well fuck, Craig's dead, oh well.

Everybody suddenly vanished except for the two of us. The scenery changed, we were now standing under a cherry blossom tree. Tweek bit his lip glancing around with the air blowing his blonde strands into his eyes, "I-I..."

I grabbed his shirt and clenched my fist into the green fabric, pulling him closer to my face.

The blonde's eyes darted to my lips as I spoke. "K-I-S-S. M-E." 

He bent his head down enough that our lips brushed against each other's, sending electrical vibes through both of our bodies. His lips taste like cherries! Gyaaaaaaaaa!

\-------------------------------------------------------

CraigPov

 

"Ruby."

"Ruby."

"Stop it."

"Ruby stop staring at Tweek like that." I was getting pretty irritated by the way Ruby stuck her face only few millimeters away from his face. She wouldn't move, her face stayed in place. "Ruby, you're scaring him."  
Tweek was shaking by how close the girl was to him, his own cheeks started to become a dusty pink.

Clyde grinned, "I have the greatest idea in the world! Tweek should kiss Ruby so his first kiss won't be a hoe!" 

Stan and Butters had to hold me back from pounding Clyde's face to a pulp, "what did you say Donovan!?"

The brunette shrugged his shoulders, "just an option."

Tweek blinked a few times as he looked at my little sister who was still daydreaming, "d-do you want me-nee to k-kiss her?" His shaky fingers were moving up to lay on her cheek but stopped at my outburst.

"Fuck no!" I shouted loudly raising both my middle fingers. 

I hate how jealousy fills my pit with these two always on my back.

The blonde boy jumped back and scooted away from Ruby's body. She came back to her senses because she watched him move away from her.   
Her eyes shrunk at the way the blonde turned away from her. Oh god...not now. Please not now Ruby.

She rose from the couch, "I WANT TO GO FUCKING HOME!" Ruby speed walked outside the door so we weren't able to see her face. "Real smooth asshole."  
Cartman followed the little girl who obviously was crying outside. 

I ripped my hands away from the boys who were holding me back,   
"I'll see you guys tonight."


	9. It seems that Tuckers like Tweeks

RubyPov

 

I kept running till my wrist was pulled by Cartman. 

"Where's Kenny?" I pleaded him as he pulled me into an embrace. 

My face laid against his flabby chest as I kept my tears back because of my pride. "He took Karen to the park...do you want me to take you to them?" I shook my head, "n-no...she deserves a brother that takes her to the park."

"Come on Ruby, Craig is trying." I turned my face away from the chubby boy's and stared off toward the street. "He's just...you know...an ass-a difficult guy."

"I hate Craig." I stated.

"Ruby.-"

"Will you take me home?" Cartman was going to respond with some kind of answer, but stopped when my eyes became glassy. He took my hand and we left toward my house, without Craig.

The brunette stayed silent all the way to my house.

 

\--------

 

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Didn't this asshole already leave!? He was suppose to be at Token's house an hour ago! 

"R-Ruby?"

My eyes went big at the sound of Karen's voice from the other side of the door. I got off my bed and went over to open the door. When I opened the door my best friend stood in the doorway.

Karen hung her head in a shy like manner, "I heard about the almost Tweek kiss." Rocking on her heels she gave me a sympathy look.

I sighed, "Kenny?"

"Kenny and I were at the park when he got the call from Cartman." She suddenly plunged into my waist giving me a tight squeeze. "Oh Ruby! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

I hugged my best friend back. So her brother took her to the park...I wish my brother would've taken me to the park instead of being stuck with those assholes. Kenny always spends time with Karen, just sibling time.

"Karen you don't need to apologize, no real harm is done." 

She suddenly thrusted her head up in shock, "y-you don't know?"

"Know what?" My face stayed blank as the brunette searched my face for a sign.

Karen looked over her shoulder,   
"where's Craig?"

"He's at Token's stupid party. Why?" Her face is really freaking me out, she seems a little distraught. "What's wrong Karen?"

"......"

"Karen."

"......." She started crying, "I-I overheard Kenny talking to Stan Marsh Friday night...and..."

I rolled my eyes, "and?"

Karen bit her lip, "a-and...Stan said that Craig likes..."

Raising my hand up I motioned for her to continue with her sentence.

"S-Stan said that Craig...likes...um...T-Tweek..." She took a step back and waited for my response. 

My face froze.

No, no, no! Of course not! He isn't even gay! Tweek isn't gay either, I would've known! 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

"W-What are you doing..." I kept my position behind the corner of the stairs, watching my brother and his friend watching Red Racer. His friend Tweek was being pushed into the couch by Craig's arms that pinned his hands above his head.  

The raven boy smirked down at the fidgeting boy, "this." He snuck his hand under the blonde's shirt.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

Karen tucked a piece of her brown hair behind her ear as she kept gazing at me.

Craig knows how much Tweek means to me...even if he's a two time, asshole, guinea pig fucker, fart face, bitch tits...

\-------------------------------------------------------

Tweek turned his head to stare off toward the tv with rosy cheeks, "d-don't touch me-nee there! Y-Your family is in the-gyaaa other  room!"

Craig groaned, "shut up Tweek." He raised his other hand to give Tweek a good view of him flipping the bird. 

I stayed in place, like I was glued to the ground. My heart was shattering at the disgusting sight in front of me. 

Tweek suddenly gasped, "whaa...ah! N-Not there!"

The raven boy silenced the smaller boy with his mouth. Pressing harshly against his soft lips that it made the blonde groan through the kiss.

\-------------------------------------------------------

I was spacing out while Karen silently stayed still, she seemed to be very nervous. 

Craig wouldn't ruin my chances with Tweek! He's my brother, not by choice, but he wouldn't hurt me by being with him! 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Craig ravished his mouth proudly as he moved his left hand around under Tweek's shirt. He achieved the blonde to kiss him back with just as much passion.

I raised a hand out from the stairs and mouthed stop. My voice just wouldn't work; no words will come out. 

Their mouthes moved in sync till Craig pulled away, leaving a trail of saliva between the two boys. Tweek head fell back into the cushion as my brother sat back up and turned his head over to look at me.

I retracted my hand and stared blankly.

Craig raised his middle finger up, "mine, flat chest."

\-------------------------------------------------------

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
I screamed my lungs out so that even God could hear me. 

Karen flinched at my cry, she never heard me cry before. Hell, she's never seen me show this much emotion at once! 

"R-Ruby," she thrusted back into my arms and held me rightly. I wrapped my arms around her and kept crying my eyes out as she held me.

After a few minutes I pulled away. Regaining my blank expression, I spoke, "go get an outfit from my closet. We're crashing an eighth grade party."

Karen gasped, "w-wait what!?" 

I pulled the hair ties out of my hair and walked over to my makeup table and grabbed my hairbrush. "That bitch isn't taking my Prince Charming from me! I'd rather have no brother then no Tweek."

My best friend shook her head quickly, "you don't mean that! Blood is thicker then water Ruby!"

I brushed the tangles out of my orange hair, "if he takes Tweek from me then he's dead to me."

Karen shook her head and cried, "y-you can't make him choose between you and Tweek!"

I quickly ran past her and grabbed my phone off my bed, "better call Ike and Firkle, maybe Michael can give us a ride to Tokens."

"Michael thinks we're conformists."

"Ah, you're right, damn." I cupped my chin and looked up at the ceiling, "hm, who could take us?"

The brunette put a finger to her lips as she shrugged and awaited for me to answer. Little did she know that I already had a person in mind.

"Hey Karen."

"Y-Yeah?" Her big brown eyes innocently glanced over to me.

"You said Kevin got his permit right?" 

She nodded, "yeah! He drives my dads truck to high school everyday. Why?"

I raised a middle finger and tossed my phone to her as she caught it, "well here you go. Call your brother to come pick us up."

She gave a small whimper, "Ruby!"

I went over to my closet and started searching for something cute, "I'm going to this party and I'm going to be Tweek's first kiss!"


	10. Clyde's on our side

RubyPov

 

Karen and I got out of the old rusty truck and faced her dirty brother. Karen gave him a small hug, "t-thanks Kevin."

He gave a small nod toward his sister, "just call when you need to be picked up."

"O-Okay!"

The red truck started going down the street out of view from Token's house. 

Karen looked at me, "well we're here. What now?" "We gotta go inside and find Tweek...without any of the stupid eighth graders seeing us. Once someone sees us they'll inform our brothers." She suddenly shrieked and pointed over to what looked like a phone booth, "BUT THERES A HUGE GATE WITH AN OFFICER!"

I glanced over to the guard in the small security box in front of Token's house. Taking her hand we walked over to the old man who spotted us. I straighten my poster and spoke in the girlish voice I could process through my plain lips, "hiya! We're here for Tokens party! Hehe, can you open the gate...daddy?" Karen gawked at my voice. The old man looked down at us, "move along sir."

That's what I hear the older girls say so I'm just following their rules.

I glared at him calling us a sir. The brunette tried to pull her hand away from my grip, but I forced her to stay put. "Listen here asswipe, we're going in. Get the hell out of our way," walking toward the red security line. The old bastard got out of the box and followed us.

He started shaking a small can, "move along sir or I'll pepper spray you."

"I dare you little bitch." Our eyes met, daring the other to make a move.

"Whoa! Whoa! Hold up! They're with me dude." From behind the security box stood Clyde Donovan. The cheeky brunette came running to my side. "They must've fell behind when Token and I were getting the tacos."

The security guard put the can back into his pocket and nodded over to the boy, "alright Mr. Donovan. Move along sir."

Clyde wrapped his hand around Karen and I quickly moving away from the driveway before I could beat that dusty old pussy. When we were behind the gigantic house he let go of Karen and placed his hand on the back of my neck. 

"Don't start shit or you'll end up disappointed."  His hand moved around my neck repeatedly with an annoyed expression on his face.   
"How the hell did you two even get here?"

I smacked his hand away from me, "are you going to go tell Craig and Kenny?"

His brown eyes stayed on me, "no."

Karen shyly put her hands behind her, "y-your not?"

"No. I'm on your guys team." 

"What team?"

Clyde groaned, placing his hand back on my neck, "I'm helping you get Tweek." I darted my blue orbs up to him with a frown, "why!?"

He gave a half smirk, "because we both want you to have Tweek, isn't that obvious."

Karen stayed silent.

I growled and raised my middle finger up at him, "what the hell does that mean!?"

The brunette gave an amused smile at my sad attempts to scare him. "Blah, blah, blah."

"Fuck you Donovan!"

"Heh, you sound like Craig," he smiled sweetly down at me and bent down so he was at my eye level. "You two are just alike." 

I raised my middle finger again giving him my best 'I dare you to say that again' look. He just kept laughing at me.

"N-Now I get it," Clyde and I turned to look at Karen. She glanced at Donovan, "you like Craig?"

Clyde's cheeks became heated, "w-w-w-whoa hold up...it's not like that!"

I noticed the red blush creeping onto his tan cheeks, "oh my god...you like my brother!? You're like his first best friend..."

"Well you like a fidgeting spaz who is your brothers best friend," the boy barked back.

Karen held her hands up in defense, "i-it's fine if you like Craig. R-Right Ruby?"

I nodded, "it's just shocking. I didn't even know you were gay, you've slept over our house almost every other week." Clyde's eyes wouldn't meet mine as he looked over to the house. 

"It's complicated."

How is it complicated?-Why the hell do I even care!? I'm here for Tweek, not Clyde's secret crush on my brother! "How are you going to help us get to Tweek?"

He tapped his nose as he gave me a goofy grin, "well my first plan didn't workout. So I'll have to figure out another plan. Your brother almost kicked my ass for even suggesting Tweek to kiss you."

"Well if you want to help us, get us inside without anybody seeing us."

Clyde scratched the back of his neck as he hummed, "lemme see, ah!" He motioned for us to look up, there was a window on the second floor. "If Karen and I lift you up, you can climb up the second floor window, that's Token's room!"

I took a deep breath, "well, better then nothing." 

Karen followed Clyde with a worried face.

 

\-----------

 

TweekPov

 

"S-So she didn't talk to-nee you.."

Craig shook his head, "I tried for an hour before leaving to come here."

Token sighed and sipped his cola that was spiked with vodka from his parents stash. "It's your own fault."

The raven boy twitched at the black boy's comment and squeezed his own plastic cup.

My eyes sadden at the look Ruby made. She was on the verge of tears when I moved away, I feel so guilty, and I don't think another gift will help. We'll find a way to make it up to her.

"I need another drink..." my best friend groaned.

Token took a look over his shoulder, "where the hell is Clyde!? He was suppose to get another batch of tacos, but he should've been back by now." 

Craig snorted, "probably ate them all and had to go back for more. I'll go find the dumbass." 

The raven walked away from Token and I. 

\---------

RubyPov

 

"You two are heavy for being petite girls! Jesus Christ." 

"Shut up Clyde." I stated as Karen pushed me higher so I could touch the window.

The brunette bit her lip, "that's the farthest I can go!"

"It's fine, I can open it." 

"WELL OPEN IT QUICKLY WILL YA!? SHE IS LITERALLY STANDING ON MY HEAD!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP CLYDE!" I pulled the window ceil open and climbed through.   
"I'm in."

Clyde pulled Karen down so he was holding her on his side, "alright, you're in. Now what?"

I looked at the boyish room surrounding me, "um...I don't know..."

Clyde's face went grey, "eh!? That's your brilliant plan!? Going yolo!?" Karen hooked her arm around his neck as she lifted her face up to the window. 

"Well I didn't have much time to think it out." 

The brunette smacked himself, "oh god." I finally realized that Karen was still in the annoying boys arms.

"Wait! Gimme Karen!"

Clyde shook his head and pointed up at me, "no! She's coming with me to go get more tacos for the party while YOU get my homie to kiss you!"

I gulped.


	11. R.I.P. Ruby's back

ClydePov

 

"Thanks Mr. Chavez for anther batch of your delicious tacos! We ran out so fast that I had to come back for more because the guests were demanding it!"

"Ah Mr. Donovan, you're the best customer I ever had. I hope your party is going very well! Who's this?" The older man with a thick black caterpillar mustache moved his gazed over to the girl that was still on my side. 'Did I seriously carry her all this way?' 

Karen shyly smiled and moved away from his look. I patted her side comfortingly and spoke, "this is Karen. She's really shy in front of new people."

Mr. Chavez bent down and grabbed a pink Mexican cookie from under the glass. He held it over the counter, "here bonita, on the house."

The McCormick girl shakily held her hand up and took the cookie from him. She mumbled a "thank you" before her mouth attacked it hungrily. I bet she was really hungry, McCormick's house is the poorest place in South Park. I kept holding Karen in my right arm and held the tacos with my left hand. 

"Alright, they're probably wondering where I am. It's no party till I walk in anyway." I waved over to Mr. Chavez before I exited the taco shop. 

"C-Clyde." Karen stuttered.

"Hm? What's up Karen?"

She suddenly silenced herself with the cookie as a voice came from in front of us.

"Clyde, what the hell is taking you so long!?...Why the hell do you have McCormick's little sister in your arms!?" Terrific, Craig.

I held my hand up, "Craig, listen.-"

"Kenny will literally rip your head off if he sees you along with his sister!" The raven gripped his nose and sighed, "goddammit Clyde."

Karen nudged my shoulder, "t-tell him out you feel.." 

I raised my eyebrows up toward the brunette, "EH!?!?!" I shifted my eyes over to Tucker who was tapping his foot in an impatient parent matter. 'Why the hell does he treat me like a kid,' I sadly pouted deep in my thoughts.

Sighing, I spoke, "Craig. How long have we been friends?"

A little taken back, Craig emotionlessly replied, "since preschool." His expression seemed to get a sicken look at me continuing.

"Who was your first friend?" I mockingly tapped my foot impatiently. The little girl in my possession stayed quiet since she heard her brother would kill me. 

"...You...." His eyes stared at me in suspicion, I never use this to my advantage, unless I needed his help. Like when I took the stick of truth and I had him become my secret partner. 

"Remember when someone peed-" I was cut off by the raven's sudden anger. 

"What the hell do you want!?" Craig growled at me guilt tripping him into doing something else. He did something very disturbing in the third grade and I covered for him by taking the blame.

"Don't tell Kenny that I have Karen." I commanded.

He scoffed, "what are you going to do with her?" 

"Don't ask. I didn't ask why you had to pee-"

"Fine!" He held his hands up, "well give it to me. Your hands are full."

I looked at Karen then at the tacos with confusion, "which one?"

"Whichever! The girl or the sack of tacos; I don't really give a fuck!" The raven barked over to me. 

I gave him the bag of tacos, because I could feel Karen shake at the thought of this rapidly angered raven was going to hold her. 'You know Clyde you could just put her down and let her walk, but I'm just going to hold her.'

McCormick's little sister leaned up to my ear and whispered quite loudly, "i-if you tell him, maybe he'll accept!" She laid back in my arms not looking at Craig, but at her pink cookie. Craig heard her because he looked at me with an eyebrow raised up in a curious matter. 

"Tell me what? I swear if you guys want my accepting of your sick relationship, I'll barf right now. Right on the concrete."

I held my hand up, "whoa! I'm not dating a ten year old you guinea pig freak!"

He turned his back to me and walked forward, "come on, Ruby is about to kiss Tweek. None of us want to miss that right?"

"Right, let's go." I started taking a step forward and paused.

 

'What?'

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

RubyPov 

 

I can hear the screeches of premature girls crying over their favorite songs. The music was so loud that the door vibrated every six seconds. I've been sitting in here trying to come up with a plan. There was suddenly a knock on the door, I kept my quiet and quickly hid under the gigantic bed owned by the rich kid. When there was no words, the knock opened the door and closed it behind them. I put my hand on my mouth and watched my breathing carefully. If I get caught I'll forever live life without my dear Tweek. Never be his first kiss, be my first kiss.-

"Oh god I love you so much." That voice came from Karen's brother. "Ah, let me get this off. I need to have more of you."

"K-Kenny! Aaaah...w-wait!"

Which means the other person in the room must be Cartman. Great. I turned red from pure embarrassment. There was kissing noises and small grunts from both boys. I felt someone getting pushed onto the bed as the mattered pushed down onto my back. It was really heavy so I knew it was Cartman's weight on my back. My eyes popped out of my head as the fat boy pressed all of his weight into the mattress. I imagined that he was laying down, because his body was faced on the side of the bed which was directly above my back. 'Am I going to die like this!?' I screamed in my head.

"N-Not here you poor piece of crap! Put your shirt back on!" The brunette yelped from above me. "S-Stop tugging on my shirt! I'm leaving it on!"

Please tell me they aren't going to have sex. This will LITERALLY ruin my sex life with anyone but Tweek. 

"Cmon princess, it's Token's bed! Don't you want this poor rat to make you feel good on a luxury king sized bed? We can leave your underwear here so Token finds it and have nightmares for a month."

Kenny is so sweet. The way he says princess is so cute. I kept my face down not paying attention to the cluster of basketballs and footballs surrounding me. 

"What if someone comes in!? I am not going to be those Japanese girls next fucking target! I don't need to be drawn like I'm a girly boy who blushes all the time and is all shy!" 

There was a heavenly laugh from I'm guessing Kenny because he spoke next. 

"But you are! You always blush when I do this..." 

I couldn't see what the blonde was doing to Eric so I just let my brain think he gave him a kiss or something.

"Aaah...Kenny..." The brunette cried.

"You also blush when I'm on top on you...like this," there was a sudden shift in weight and the blonde boy got on top of the mattress. Bringing more weight pushed down on my back, making me whimper in pain.

"What was that?" Kenny got off the bed because I saw his feet stand beside the bed. 

"Did the bed just squeak?" Eric asked the blonde.

"Maybe a mouse?" The blonde got down on his knees and poke his head under the bed. His eyes landed right on me, "well hello there Scooby Ruby."

The weight on my back lifted as the body above got off the bed.

"Ruby? Ruby Tucker!?" Eric got off the bed and bent down to look at me under Token's bed.

"Hi." I said emotionlessly. 

Kenny motioned for me to come out. I sighed and did as commanded. I crawled out from under the bed and was faced with Eric having his hands on his hips and a shirtless Kenny with his arms crossed. 

Cartman was the first to speak, "Ruby! This party isn't for kids! God knows what you could've seen at this party!"

Kenny nodded in agreement, "does Craig even know you're here?-"

"PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM!" I cried over to the blonde with a desperate plea. 

That was the first time Kenny has seen me actually cry. I had tears rolling down my face at a quick pace and flushed cheeks. "I just wanted to have my first kiss with Tweek..."

The blonde smiled, "awe, Ru." He walked over and grabbed his orange v-neck off the ground .and put it over his head. When he was wearing it again he grabbed Eric's hand, "Ruby. Wait here, I'll go tell Tweek to come meet you in here."

The couple opened the door and closed it behind them.

I sniffed and rubbed my eyes with my blue sleeve, 'thank you Kenny.'


	12. KISS

KennyPov

 

I closed the door and walked away from Token's room and off to the party.

My boyfriend was giving me the 'are you fucking kidding me' look. His expression wouldn't go away till I asked him what was wrong.

"What?"

"How the hell are you going to get Tweek to go in that room!?"

I pulled Cartman's hand up to my lips and placed a kiss on his palm, "don't worry mi amor, I'm very persuasive." He rolled his eyes and snorted at my comment as he pulled his hand away, "since when?"

"Since I got you to say yes to me in the sixth grade! Remember when you told me not to make you regret going out with me? You never did!" I smirked in pride at my achievements to woe him over with my slick moves. "I was known as a "whore" back then. Mostly because I had a great reputation at getting what I want."

"I barf every time I think about you and Tammy. You went to go see the fucking Jonas Brothers just to get a bj in the parking lot behind TGI Friday." The boy gave me a cringe expression as we kept walking to the living room. "I'm glad you don't talk to her anymore." I got silent when he mentioned my ex. I've never told Cartman that I still talk to her on the phone and hangout with her...JUST AS FRIENDS! Tammy left grade school two years ago and she goes to South Park high with my big brother.

I heard Stan's drunk voice in the kitchen. 

"K-Kyle! I love you!" The raven was holding his spiked punch in his hand as he rocked back and forth on his heels. Kyle sighed and walked over to the him, "you're drunk Stan."

After the redhead didn't respond back with an "I love you too" Stan raised his middle finger, "fuck you Kyle, you're a piece of shit."

The redhead shook his head and walked away from Marsh. 

"I love you..." The raven called again as he followed the Jewish boy toward the stairs.

Trailing behind him was a group of Japanese girls with sketch pads and pencils. They were giggling and squealing like crazy. Cartman grinned over at them, "well, well! Look who's going to be their next ship Kahl! Enjoy the mini skirt and tentacles!"

"Fuck off Cartman!"

I saw Tweek come up to us with his own cup of coffee. Him and Token was laughing at Eric's joke about Kyle and Stan. "Yo Tweek! Come here." He shakily walked over to my boyfriend and I.

"Y-Yeah?" The blonde said with no questions asked.

"Can you go to Token's room?" I was shocked when the blonde boy just nodded and started making his way up the stairs. Cartman blinked, "well that was easy." 

"Yeah it was." I looked over my shoulder till the blonde boy was off in the distance. Eric reattached our hands back together, "so...you don't talk to Tammy anymore...right?"

"Are we still talking about her?" I leaned my forehead forward so it was against his, "she doesn't matter to me, just you baby."

"That's not what I asked." He squinted his eyes, "Kenny are you talking to Tammy the whore?"

I cupped his cheek into my palm and bent forward. 

"Are you talking to Cruella De Vil you porn watching asshole!?"

\-------------------------------------------------------

RubyPov

 

Knock.

Knock.

I became silent at the knock at the door. I brushed my fingers through my long orange hair to make the tangles disappear. Pulling my skirt down I caressed it gently, "come in."

The door opened slowly, "nee-t-that voice...R-Ruby-gya?!" I came face to face with the most beautiful creation made with gods perfect hands. His confused face was even gorgeous, this kid was amazing. "Hi...Tweek..."

"W-What!? Agh...-"

I bit my lip and took a deep breath before speaking, "I'm here for a kiss! I'm ten years old, I need to have my first kiss...so please be my first!" My hands clamped together in a prayer form as my face turned rosy red, "please Tweek! Please Tweek!"

"Gyaaaaa! A k-kiss!?" His hand shakily covered his mouth in total embarrassment. 

I moved closer to him and shook crazily just like my crush. He didn't look away from me, he just kept his eyes on me. My heart was beating so fast that the blonde heard it. 

"Y-You know...your-nee b-brother will k-kill-gya me..." I help a finger up, "Romeo and Juliet's family hated each other, but their love was bigger then their families thoughts." 

Tweek scratched his cheek nervously, "....."

The blonde walked forward, keeping his green eyes on my blue orbs. His shaky hand landed on my left cheek, his cold skin got heated up with my burning cheek. It felt like years, but I would rather be here then anywhere else. It felt like there was a crab somewhere around the room whispering to Tweek to kiss the girl. 

"Y-You're beautiful-nee Ruby, r-remember that..." Tweek bent down to my level and kept his lips hovered above mine. "I-I'm glad-gya you'll be...my first k-kiss." His lips pushed into mine with a small forces that brought electricity throughout my body. Those soft pink lips stayed in place for a few seconds before I kissed him back. My eyes popped open when I finally realized that I'm his first kiss, he's my first kiss, and we'll forever be each other's first kiss. I wished for the kiss to keep going, but the blonde pulled away quickly and pulled his coffee mug up to his mouth. 

"M-Maybe you should-gya go before...C-Craig gets back..." His eyes said something else, they were saying 'better run before Craig comes', but it didn't matter. I'm so happy, I want to cry of joy for the first time ever. I nodded my head, "okay. Um, should I jump out the window?"

"A-ARE YOU CRAZY-GYAAAA!? THAT'S T-TOOO MUCH PRESSURE!" The blonde took my hand into his and led me out the door. When we got to the stairs, there was a few kids talking not paying attention to us. He took me to the back door behind the stairs and opened the door.

"Bye Tweek." Before I took a step forward I decided to get brave and leaned on my tippy toes and pressed another kiss on his lips. The taste of his families coffee brand was mixed with his own flavor. I'll remember this for as long as I live.

The blonde shook like nuts and turned red as me. 

I walked out of the door, but kept looking over my shoulder at the blonde who had his eyes on me. He did a small wave and a smile of his own before he closed the back door to Token's house. 'Shalalalalala, my oh my.' Kiss the Girl was stuck in my head after he closed the door. I kept replaying the image of him moving closer to my lips. The way he said I was beautiful! I know I'm a Tucker and I'm suppose to be emotionless...but GYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! 

 

Craig_

 

"Dumbass, you can't trick me. I've told Tweek to kiss her, I knew she'd be there if Karen was there." Clyde and I were at Token's front door with the tacos. When I explained the plan to Karen and Clyde, we took the girl home so her parents didn't worry.

"I'm shocked. I didn't think you'd let Tweek kiss her!" Clyde gave me praise the whole way here.

"Eh, the bitch wouldn't forgive me if it had nothing to do with Tweek. That kid is a drug to her." 

Clyde reached for the door knob, but was impaled by the door suddenly opening in his face. "Gyaaaaa!"

I started laughing in my mind at whoever slammed the door on Clyde. Cartman stomped out of the house as he was shouting, "GO FUCKING BE WITH HER IF SHE'S SO FUCKING INTERESTING YOU POOR PIECE OF CRAP!" I got out of his way from already telling he was pissed off. It was none of my business so I wouldn't get involved.

When the brunette was at the stairs, Clyde tried to pull the door back so he could go inside, but it swung back open hitting him again. "Gyaaaaaa!"

Kenny came running out of the house and not stopped to even look mine or Clyde's way. "CMON CARTMAN! COME BACK! I'LL STOP TALKING TO HER I SWEAR!" 

"DON'T FUCKING FOLLOW ME MCCORMICK! WE'RE DONE! GO BE WITH THAT WHORE ASSHOLE!" Eric wouldn't stop to look at the blonde he just kept walking away.

The blonde didn't stop when Cartman told him to. Kenny kept running after him pleading him to stop and listen to him. "I'LL BLOCK HER RIGHT NOW! WATCH! BABE! STOP WALKING AWAY FROM ME!"

I didn't really listen to whatever they were saying after Clyde finally made it from behind the door without being harmed. Standing in the doorway was Tweek who had his hand covering his mouth.

"I kissed-nee her..."


	13. CRAIG! You aren't Kenny!

CraigPov

 

Monday morning Ruby held my hand the whole way to school. She was humming something that sounded like that the little mermaid song. NOT THAT I LISTEN TO KISS THE GIRL! Her kiss from Tweek kept her in a jolly mood the whole weekend. She's even wearing the hat I bought her and had Mr. Tweek in her backpack. Having my little sister smile at me then growl at me was my very own sanctuary. We made it over to the school's front doors to see Karen and Kenny saying their goodbyes to each other. I raised an eyebrow when the blonde boy didn't greet us, but walked into the school quietly. 

Ruby's friend turned around when we made it up to her. Karen smiled, "H-Hi Ruby! Hi Craig!" 

We both flipped her off as our greeting. Ruby looked over the brunette's shoulder from where Kenny walked inside. "Is your brother okay?"

Her face dropped at the mention of her brother, "no...him and Cartman broke up. He hasn't been taking it well..." This wasn't really news to me because I saw the whole episode in front of me Saturday night. My sisters eyes went wide, "w-what? That can't be. I saw them kissing at Toke-I mean..." I gave my best curious look at what my little sister was going to say next.

"-I saw them kissing at school kissing by Token's locker on Friday!" I smirked, nice save. It looks like she did learn something from me.

The brunette rubbed her nose on her green sweater, "well...Cartman won't speak to him. Cartman is the best male sister ever! Ruby, you even said you would be so happy if you spent time with him!" I shifted my eyes to my sister who used her index finger to scratch her cheek nervously, "well...I mean, um..."

"You want fatass to play with you?" I asked Ruby.

"Well, he treated Karen like a little sister...she said he's really fun to hangout with." 

Karen nodded in agreement, "he really was." She sighed and kept rubbing both her eyes with her fingers, "but since Kenny did something, he won't talk to him."

Ruby released my hand and quickly hugged the brunette. I took the signal to leave them alone by going to class. What Ruby said was stuck in my head...

"Well, he treated Karen like a little sister...she said he's really fun to hangout with."

\-------------------------------------------------------

"A-ARE YOU-NEE FUCKING NUTS-GYA!?! THIS IS R-RED FLAGS-AHHH!" 

I leaned back in my seat and looked at the blonde who was standing over me. "Tweek, it wouldn't be so bad. It would just be a business arrangement." The blonde sipped his coffee and shook like crazy. "I-I kissed her, b-but you c-can't-nee date Eric Cartman! K-Kenny will kill you-gyaaaaa! Too much pressure!!"

"McCormick won't touch me. It's not like I'm going to go around and kiss Jabba the Hutt, I'm just going to have him spend time with Ruby." Tweek and I looked over at the fatass talking to Butters. Kenny had his head on his desk away from the brunette. 

Tweek shook his head, "C-Craig, there has to be-nee a line! You'll c-cross it with this-gya."

I flipped my best friend off and got out of my seat. Stuffing my hands into my pockets I walked over to hello kitty fapper and cheesy poof muncher. The blonde welcomed me, "well uh hey Craig!" Cartman was ignoring my presence by looking at his phone and texting someone. 

I glared at him, "hey fatass you can at least acknowledge my existence for one easily minute." 

Eric looked up from his phone and growled, "what the fuck do you want?"

My jaw clenched at the attitude Cartman was giving me. Butters patted my back, "don't worry about Eric, golly he's just uh eh sad over his relationship."

"Butters," Eric gave him a funny face which was awarded by a dumbfounded expression from the blonde boy. "Shut the hell up."  
I signaled for Butters to leave, "yo Stotch, hit the road. I need to talk to asshole over here."  
The blonde smiled, "okie dokie Craig!" Butters skipped away to go talk to Jimmy on the other side of the room. Cartman brought his attention back on his iPhone 6, "go away."

"Look, I need you to go out with me just for awhile so you can hangout with Ruby more."

Cartman decided to be a little bitch and walk away from me by leaving the classroom. I'm not afraid of being tardy so I followed his fatass out the door. 

"I'm not in the mood for jokes Tucker," the brunette called from behind him.

"This isn't a joke! I need you to make Ruby happier. Look, you brought Kenny's little sister joy, just give my sister a chance. The three of us can go somewhere fun, wherever you want." He realized that I wasn't going to leave him alone so he stopped by the boys bathroom stall. "It's not a date then. I'll do it for only Ruby's sake, no romance involved."

"That's music to my ears Cartman."

\-------------------------------------------------------

"C-Casa Bonita tonight-nee?" Tweek asked.

I had my arms over my head as we walked out of the school, "that's where Cartman wanted to go."

"Y-You're aren't-nee scared of-gya Kenny?"

"Fuck no. I did shit to him." The blonde sighed at my answer. "Y-You know you're taking-ah everything from K-Kenny and Karen-nee..."

"They aren't my concern, my family is my own concern. Ruby says she wants Cartman, she'll have Cartman. She wanted a brother like Kenny, she'll get a brother like Kenny."

Tweek shook his head, "C-Craig! You aren't Kenny-nee..."

"Geez, you make it seem like I'm ruining McCormick's life. I'm just having his ex come with me to take Ruby out."

"W-Well I hope it-gya goes well...see ya C-Craig!" I waved back at him as he went toward the cars. I walked off to meet Ruby, Karen, and Kenny at the bus stop. The blonde boy was hugging the brunette and smiling weakly. Oh brother, this guy needs to suck it up, relationships come and go. When I was in their view McCormick got big eyes and motioned for me to come here, "Craig!"

I stopped in front of him, "sup?"

"I thought it would be nice to spend some sibling time with our sisters this weekend, you in?"

"Where?" I asked.

Karen smiled, "we have a volleyball game this Saturday!" 

I raised an eyebrow at my sister, "you play volleyball?"

"Since I've been six Craig." She stated with a middle finger in my face.

Kenny changed the subject once again, "I saw you talking to Cartman this morning!...Did he mention anything about our relationship?" My eyes went from his face to our sisters who were covered in curiosity as well. 

"No...sorry bro." The blonde hung his head and sighed.

Karen grabbed Kenny's hand pulling him toward the bus, "c-come on big brother, they're waiting on us."

The blonde was dragged away from me and left with his little sister, leaving Ruby and I alone. She shook her head and spoke bluntly, "poor Kenny."

I shrugged, "love doesn't last. The only person that will ever truly love you is..." She nodded in agreement as we spoke in unison.

"-Guinea pigs."

"-Parents."

We both blinked and looked at each other before breaking into laughter. Ruby held a hand up to her mouth as she giggled lightly from my comment. 

"Soooooo, do you want to go out to eat tonight?"

She tilted her head, "tonight?"

"We're going to Casa Bonita!" The voice came from no other then Eric coming toward us. Ruby was totally confused by what was happening, "h-huh?"

Cartman kneeled beside Ruby, "have you ever been there?"

"..N-No.." She shyly hung her head.

Fatass smiled and patted her head, "want me to take you? We can talk about Tweek the whole time!" I rolled my eyes, seriously, do we always have to bring up my best friend. Ruby nodded quickly and held her hands up to her face, "I would love that!"

Eric held his hand out, "do you want to come to my house for my moms special after school snack?" Ruby put a finger to her mouth and nodded without saying a word. She put her smaller hand in his, "can we talk about Tweek's beautiful green eyes?"

I want to puke. 

"Sure! Come on, Mrs. Cartman should be home by now. I'll drive you guys."

I gawked, "you drive!? Dude, you can't kill my sister, my parents will kill my guinea pig if I don't bring her home."

Ruby twitched at my words, "I hope Red Racer gets cancelled!"

Eric smirked at my little sister. "I like your sister, she gets it."

My sister looked at fatass and gave him a small smile, "heh."

I grinned. This might not be as bad as I thought. Maybe this guy will be a good male sister for her. My stomach however felt something wrong with this, I felt like I was backstabbing Kenny for some reason. Ruby's smile is worth it though.


	14. Use the Tucker force

CraigPov

 

It's Saturday afternoon and Kenny and I are walking to the school. It was South Park Cows fourth grade volleyball game. Apparently it's very important because our sisters are in some kind of championship and blah, blah, blah. Kenny forced me to wear a white "Go Ruby" shirt with red font that matched his "Go Karen" top. This shitty shirt cost me almost fifteen dollars; including the sweatband I had on my forehead with the same words on my shirt. I held a small flag with Ruby's face on it in my left hand. My right hand held my family's camera. The blonde had a huge banner rolled up and tucked away in his arm. We looked completely idiotic in the eyes of anyone, but our parents. 

I tugged on my red and hella itchy sweatband and looked at Kenny." So let me get this straight. You go to every single game they have and wear that stupid outfit?" I asked the peppy blonde.

"Yup! It's been a Kenny McCormick tradition since Karen first started in the second grade!" 

"A Craig Tucker tradition is watching Red Racer while holding my guinea pig, Stripes."

McCormick patted my back, "Stripes would be proud of you for being there for your sister."

My eyes shifted from the street to the blonde, "probably not. He hates her, he bit her a week ago."

"Oh." The other boy got silent for a moment.

"Ruby wanted to squash him a few years ago after he peed on Tweek. I tied her up and pushed her in the closet till Tweek gave me a stern talking to and let her out."

Kenny tsked, "if you want to become closer to Ruby, you gotta work for her affection. That means no Red Racer or guinea pig over your sister." We made it up to the doors of the school as he kept speaking,"she wears your presents, you got her a kiss from Tweek, and now you're going to an important game. I'm proud of you." I put the camera up to my eye and started filming McCormick, "Kenny McCormick; the pervert of South Park." The blonde smiled at the camera and held a peace sign up, "hiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaaa!"

"Tell us Kenny, what do you plan on doing in the future?" I asked emotionlessly.

"Welp. First, I'll help you and Ruby become better siblings. Second, get my boyfriend back. Lastly, try to get rich and have my family live in luxury. Oh! Also, a pet monkey named George with a white suit!" The blonde pushed the front door open and walked through. I stopped walking and put the camera back down, my face gotten a little white. Kenny's first thing to focus on was mine and Ruby's relationship over his own. How did I repay him? Took Cartman and Ruby to Casa Bonita and actually had fun...Ruby told fatass that she likes hanging with him...but it's not bad! I'm only doing it to make her happy, nothing else!

When he noticed I didn't walk inside the door he stopped, "you okay bro?"

"Thanks Kenny." I turned the camera off.

He looked over his shoulder and gave me a small smile, "you're welcome."

\-------------

RubyPov

 

"Alright girls, get into groups of two and practice some bump passes." Our couch blew his whistle and we all hustled to our friends. Which in my case was Karen. When I got over to her she already had a ball in her hands and held it up, "hey Ruby! I got us a ball." It was the only pink volleyball our team had, we call it the good luck volleyball for its color. Whoever practiced before the game with the pink ball became really gifted during the games. It was proven that the person creates a winning streaks of surfs over the net.

Constance walked by Karen with her faithful minions trailing behind her and grabbed the ball out of Karen's hands. "Thanks poor kid." The brunette looked at her hand then blinked as she looked over to the bleach blonde. "B-But Constance, I-I got that for me and Ruby..."

Constance turned on her heel and placed the ball on her hip, "sorry Karen, people who don't get money from the government can have the pleasure of using the lucky volleyball." The three girls behind Constance giggled at her insult. How in anyway was that funny?

Walking over to the blonde girl I spoke, "give Karen the ball back." 

Constance jumped when she saw me and started mocking me by placing the ball in front of her as she shakes. "Oh no! It's Ruby Tucker! Ahh, please don't hurt me! Your emotionless face brings fear throughout my body!" 

I flipped her off with my middle and quickly placed my hands on the pink ball, "gimme the ball Constance." She glared down at me and kept her hands on the ball and pulled it toward her, "no."

"I'll shove my middle finger down your throat if you don't let go." I bluntly stated.

"All the way down there? You'll need a ladder to get on my level Tucker."

Coach Garrison blew his whistle again, "Ruby! Constance! Karen! Jackie! Maria! Trisha! Move your premature asses! You have only five more minutes to practice before the game!" 

We didn't move, we just kept shooting daggers at each other. Karen put her hand to her mouth, "Ruby it's okay. I'll go get another ball.-"

Constance nodded and moved her head over to my best friend, "good idea Karen. Go look in the dumpster in the back of the school where your family stays."

I kneed the girl in the vagina making her gasp and caused her eyes to pop out in shock. "Oops," I moved away from her, "right in the baby maker." She let go of the ball and sunk to the ground holding her privates. The ball rolled right to me as I picked it up and placed it under my arm. Her minions surrounded her on the ground and tried to comfort their friend. Looking over my shoulder Mr. Garrison was busy cussing at the referee who was his ex boyfriend's husband. 

"Listen here Big gay Al I'll fuck you up!"

Turning back around I smirked and held my middle finger out, "now if you don't mind. We have a match to win." I walked over to Karen who was shaking like crazy. 

"R-Ruby! You shouldn't have done that!" 

I shrugged, "it wouldn't hurt for people to stand up to her, like my knee." Passing the brunette the pink ball she thanked me. "Thank me by winning us the championship Karen."

Karen nodded and smiled, "I will!" She suddenly opened her mouth and pointed over my shoulder, "R-Ruby!"

I looked over my shoulder to see the most gayest thing that ever existed, except for Mr. Slave. Craig and Kenny were on the bleachers waving a banner and flag of us like it was fan merch. Karen blinked twice then smiled again, "how sweet of them. Kenny got Craig to come to your game Ruby." I blushed in embarrassment and put a hand over my mouth at Craig Tucker wearing my name all over his body. The raven had a camera in front of his face, was he taping this whole time? What made it worse, I don't know how long they were there. Did Craig get me fighting with Constance and kneeing that girl in the vagina on tape?

We heard Kenny chant Karen's name loudly as his sister waved over to him. "H-Hi big brother!"

Craig had one eye covered by the tape recorder and it made me feel weird. My family never came to a game, it was weird seeing someone I know here. Well anyone, but Kenny. Looking at the brunette waving over to her brother I decided to greet my brother with my middle finger. Craig reacted by putting a middle finger in front of the cameras view also.

 

\----------

 

KennyPov

 

"Go Karen! Go Karen! Gooooo Karen!" I held the banner up over my head. Craig only told me to shut up three times since the game started. My sister was on a winning streak of surfs! She kept getting them over with the other team girls filed attempts to bump it. 

Ruby was in front of the brunette by the net and walked over giving my sister a high five. 

After a few minutes the streak ended with one girl bumping the ball over. Craig's sister was next to surf for the South Park Cows and he got a little more entertain by this. A blonde girl that was next to Ruby on the net was giving her a smug look. Every time a ball came over to those two they seem to push each other away from the ball. It looked like they were trying to steal the ball from each other, but they're on the same team? 

Mr. Garrison was pissed at this because he kept yelling, "RUBY AND CONSTANCE STOP FUCKING HOGGING THE BALL AND BASH IT OVER ALREADY!"

The ball went back to the other team again because it landed on the ground between the two girls. When the player from the other side surfed it over Ruby and Constance were in stance, ready to get it themselves.

"-Mine!" The blonde girl called.

"-Mine!" Ruby said in unison with the other girl. 

They kept waiting for it to come to them. When that blonde girl pushed her in the gut I stood up, "what the hell!? Foul! Foul!"

Craig groaned as he stood up from his seat and shouted over to the court, "Ruby! Use the Tucker force!" Ruby looked at her brother for a quick second in confusion before she quickly nodded. Ruby pushed her middle finger into the blonde girls face, causing her to not see. She used the blondes head to boost her up and jumped up. In three seconds the orange haired girl spiked the ball over the net and hit the ground instantly. It was all sudden as the bell rung for half time. 

Craig clapped, "about fucking time!" I watched the girls on the team surround his sister and give her high fives. Karen jogged over and gave her some water. I looked at Tucker who was smiling through the tape recorder at the site in front of us. "Aww Craig."

He gave me the bird and told me to shut it.

There was a ringing coming from his phone next to him. "Craig, your phones ringing."

"Can you answer it? I wanna tape Ruby's halftime practice-you uh know for my mom." 

"Yeah, I got you." Grabbing the phone I saw it was a text message.

 

Cartman:

Do you and Ruby want to go get ice cream and go to the park after game? :)

I blinked.

"Who was it? Was it Clyde? That dumbass drunk called me yesterday saying how much he loves me, what an idiot." Craig zoomed in on his sister and kept calling out to her to move it.

I just blinked again and didn't answer.


	15. Baby, Constance isn't worth it

KennyPov

 

I tapped my fingers on the table while Craig explained the game to Tweek. After I saw that text from Cartman I impersonated Craig to come meet us here. We were at Raisins celebrating by ourselves because the girls went to the after party. Token, Tweek, Clyde, Craig, and I met up here to chat.

"Tweek you wouldn't believe it, she actually used the Tucker force to get the ball. I have never been proud of her till now." Craig hid behind a blunt expression, but he couldn't fool the smile coming slowly across his face.

Token gave him a small smirk, "well, well. Not a bad brother." He leaned over to me and nudged my side playfully, "be careful Kenny, he's coming for your crown."

I gave a fake laugh, "heh right."

Craig flipped him off and went back to focusing his attention on Tweek. "So anyway, before Kenny and I left Ruby gave me a...hold up...get ready...a smile." 

Tweek and Clyde both clapped their hands at Craig's small achievement. 

"T-That's-nee great Craig!" The blonde smiled at the raven as he gave him a small side smile in return. I finally joined the conversation, "you know...its been awhile since I've been to this place...I'll have to say I haven't been here since...the sixth grade."

Clyde was scarfing the wings down and stopped to give me a groan, "duuuuuude let it goooooooo."

Tweek sipped his coffee and gave me a pity look, "K-Kenny...-"

"Sorry guys, Butters couldn't decide if he wanted to flirt with Lexi or just ignore her for the sake of his wallet." Cartman came in walking with Butters next to him wearing a tux and his hair slick back...except for one strand sticking up.

\-------------

RubyPov

 

Karen and I walked out of the shitty City Wok where our championship party was presented at. An Asian man cried out for us to come again and bring some "city friends" which sounded like "shitty friends." The brunette had engulfed her whole meal so quickly that it made me worried that she was going to barf it all back up. 

She rubbed her full belly, "that was amazing!"

I watched her actions and rolled my eyes, "it would've been if I didn't get two weeks of detention for kicking that nark." 

Karen sighed, "you have to stop provoking her, she's just going to keep going till she breaks you." I raised my middle finger up at her and kept my gaze on the far distance we were walking toward. "She can't break me. Nothing she could do would hurt me." Her face crunched up, "I hope so."

Dribble.

Dribble.

Dribble.

We spotted the most popular boy in our school because of his stupid singing and his basketball gift, Brindon Gueermo. He came face to face with us with his hand still dribbling the ball. The boy had some little third grade girls following him as they were singing a song. 

"You're the music in meeeee Brindon! Naaaaa naaaaa naaaaaaa!" They sang in  a Cappella as they snapped their fingers in sync. It looks like they were doing a mashed song because they switched to a different love song. "Take our hand! If we can't help falling in love with la la la youuuuu!" 

The boy had his eyes closed laughing and kept bouncing his ball on the side walk as he hummed in tune with them. "Like a river floooooes to the seaaaaa. Soooo it goes," he paused for a brief moment as he opened his eyes to finally recognize us in his way, "something are meant to beeeee." 

A redhead girl with a skirt WAY too short came pushing her way out of the crowd to sing on her own, "somethings are meant tooooo beeee!"

Karen got big orbs at the creative music coming from the choir group as she joined in to snap her own fingers together. I just looked at her a little ashamed that she would join in on something this gay.

"Your harmooooony, to the melooooosy, it's echooooooinf inside my head." He stopped his duet with the girls and stopped dribbling to greet us. "Hey Karen, Ruby." 

Karen held a shy hand up to Mr. Popular and muttered a small "hi" after ten minutes of trying. I greeted him with my middle finger and was awarded with the girls behind him threatening to give me a licking. 

"Who the hell is that rude to someone for saying hello!?" A raven girl with long eyelashes snarled.

"Does she want to start a fight!? I'll throw hands!" A Latina brunette said in the front.

I opened my mouth to say "fuck you" to the little girls surrounding him, but something more annoying and threatening came. 

"BRRREEIIIIIIDDDDDDOOOOONNNN!"A high girly screech came from over my shoulder as a hand was pushed into my face. It pushed me out of the boy's view and replaced me with no other then Constance. I landed on the ground for a second before regaining my stance a little closer to Karen. The blonde girl coughed and held a hand out to the boy as she started to sing herself.

Placing her hand on her hip and pushing it up and down repeatedly as she started, "give it toooo me I'm worth it." Flipping her hair toward the brunette she winked at him, "baby I'm worth it."

Brindon smiled at Constance, "w-wow Constance, your voice is terrific."

The one that threatened me a few minutes ago held her hands up in a prayer matter, "wow! I want a voice just like hers!"

What the hell are we all doing? It's been almost twenty minutes since Karen and I walked out the door and we were still in the presence of the shitty wok. All the girls around Brindon clapped their hands as if they were defeated at being his girlfriend. Constance was pleased at them applauding her as she held a hand up to her fans. I turned toward Karen and gave her a sicken face, "that was the cringest thing I ever saw." I said out loud bluntly. The third graders gasped in unison. 

Brindon snickered at that and pulled the basketball up to his mouth to hide his laughter from the girls. 

Constance unknowingly saw him laughing and looked at me in acknowledgement, "why are you here Tucker? Go home."

"Well I was before you pushed me out of the way to do your disturbing leg thrust in front of these poor unfortunate souls." I said through my blank expression.

The blonde girl's face turned beet red and she pushed her index finger into my chest, "don't you have to be somewhere!? Like humping Tweek's leg like a needy dog?" My face got hot itself when a bunch of kids littler then me started laughing at me.

"Shut it Constance." 

"Brindon, I apologize for her. She's kinda...you know...a stalker. I've seen her watch Tweek go home from football games to make sure he doesn't get hurt by the other team. Oh Ruby what do you do to the people that hurt Tweek in the games?" I was embarrassed at her bringing Tweek up, but I hid it away. She was bringing up the time I slashed the tires of the two boys who broke Tweek's leg from double piling. Karen pulled me away from her to keep some distance from me trying to kill her in front of witnesses. Brindon started dribbling his ball against the cement again and shook his head in disappoint at Constance's direction.

"Hey Ruby," the choir boy spoke, "would you like to go see the new Terrance and Philip movie with me?" 

The group of girls around him groaned at his decision. I looked at Karen who was signaling for me to say "yes" as she nodded frantically. A smirk appeared on my face when it hit me; Constance's crush asked me to a movie, not her. 

I shrugged, "sure."

Brindon placed the basketball he had under his right arm and held his left hand out for me to take, "leeeeeet's hiiiiiiiiit iiiiiiiiit." He sang. 

No. Is what I would say if we were alone, but since the look on Constance face and the smoke coming out of his ears was to good. Putting my hand into his own palm I quickly gave a nervous glance over to Karen. She nodded and gave me a thumbs up.

\----------


End file.
